Thu. Jul 25th, 2024

Eurovision returns to its roots. Here’s how to host an ABBA-themed lasagna song contest.

By triji May 11, 2024
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At the Eurovision Song Contest, which took place fifty years ago, two Swedish married couples enjoyed the most successful double date in the history of music and forever altered the course of pop music.

The fact that the bar was not particularly high is a fact. In addition, the year 1974 was the year that Paul Anka topped the charts with the song “(You’re) Having My Baby,” which was the winner of a poll conducted by CNN in 2006 to choose the worst songs of all time.

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding Israel’s participation in Eurovision, including tensions with artists and petitions to be excluded. Although they were still alive at the time, Abba has continued to be considered the de facto godfathers of Eurovision. This is because the competition has evolved into the most upbeat and colorful musical competition in the entire globe.

Now, fifty years after she made her debut with “Waterloo,” the competition is being held in Sweden, the country that has always been considered its spiritual home. In May of this year, Loreen became the first woman to win the competition twice, making her the seventh overall winner in Sweden.

That God is a fan of Eurovision is demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt by the fact that all of these stories are intertwined with one another. It is impossible for you, Loreen, to have worded it worse, is that correct? Numerous individuals assert, “Okay, Sweden is the spiritual home of Eurovision.” He tells CNN, “I see Eurovision as a moving entity,” and he is right. “Who cares about the place?”

Indeed, it is not precisely what we intended to say. But Loreen, who has wonderfully taken over from ABBA and is now the uncontested queen of Eurovision, must feel a tinge of excitement when she sees those four renowned faces on the billboards of the city that is hosting the competition, Malmo, right?

“I see ABBA and think: I want to have those pants,” he says enthusiastically. “Those platform shoes, where can I get them?” In order to move on from those dinosaurs that have been digitally created, Loreen, would you be able to say something pleasant about ABBA? This would allow us to move on to discussing the Eurovision contestants for this year.

When Loreen considers the musical and creative output of the quartet, she tells herself, “It really is a work of art that they have created.” “The whole product, ABBA, is a vibe, right?” That is the way things are. In contrast, Baby Lasagne, Windows95Man, and Nemo (a human, not a fish) are the current. ABBA, on the other hand, belongs to the past.
This year’s competition is just as intense, as ludicrous, as raw, and as moving as it has ever been. As a result, CNN has gotten to work, carefully observing rehearsals and analyzing each song, in order to bring you this authoritative guide to the 2024 Eurovision Song Contest. This comes just in time for the season of Pulitzer Prizes.

Artists participated in two semi-finals this week, and 26 of them made it to the grand final, which will take place in Malmo on Saturday at nine o’clock local time (three o’clock Eastern Standard Time). Second time around, Loreen from Sweden emerges victorious in the Eurovision Song Contest, bringing the Nordic nation to a tie with Ireland for the most winning nations.

“I don’t need to be normal”
For the rest of Europe, being the host of Eurovision is an honor that is beyond comprehension. It’s beginning to look like that “quirky” friend’s jam band that you agreed to see but forgot about until the very last minute, just as you’re getting into a bubble bath with a glass of Pinot Grigio. This is the situation for Sweden.

Many seasoned Eurofans are dissatisfied with the size of the fan pool for this year’s competition. The public rehearsals were only half full, and there are still tickets available for the final performance, which will be celebrated just a few hours later. Some people even assert that the tagline for the program, which is “United by Music,” may have been influenced by the slogan that was used the previous year.

However, Eurovision is a unique event that takes place on the cultural calendar. This community is the complete set of colors that make up who we are. At the same time as she is counting adjectives on her unnecessarily long, golden nails, Loreen remarks, “Goofy, serious, and nerdy.” “Everything you can imagine” .

If there is one thing that he has learned from the competition, it is this: “You can really feel real, authentic love for people you don’t know, but you do know… you know?” Loreen will be performing as a guest at the final on Saturday, while Marcus and Martinus, who are identical twins and are 22 years old, will take on the challenging task of competing for the country that is hosting the competition.

“We are very competitive people; I think we are the most competitive in the entire contest,” they declare without a touch of irony in their voice. The band Baby Lasagne, whose song “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” illustrates the phenomenon of brain drain that is plaguing Croatian communities, is this year’s number one favorite. “Oh, I’m old now; I’m leaving and I sold my cow,” she sings with conviction.

However, Mr. Lasagne is a humble individual. “She’s the lasagna, and I’m just the baby,” he says to CNN. He attributes his fiancée’s success in the business world to the fact that she is his fiancee. “I don’t even like lasagna that much,” he confesses, expressing his dissatisfaction. “I mean, she’s doing OK. Every year, I consume her on a few occasions.

At the Eurovision camp, a site whose very name would cause any non-European to bewilder, he competed against Nemo of Switzerland, who came up with the genre-busting epic “The Code.” Nemo’s song was called “The Code.” “It was like a playground,” Nemo remarks throughout the conversation. “and he’s even bigger and crazier than he expected him to be,” Nemo said after he realized that he was actually in the game.

With the final drawing near, Bambie Thug, who hails from Ireland, is making a comeback, while Joost Klein, who hails from the Netherlands, has everything to win. I have no problem with either winning or losing. I don’t care either way. I adore being in that location,” he says.

Windows95Man, whose personality centered around an operating system whose name and logo cannot legally be exhibited at Eurovision, has had the worst Malmo nightmare of anyone. No one has ever had a more terrifying Malmo nightmare than Windows95Man.

Teemu Keisteri, the brilliant individual who came up with the number, made the excellent decision to wear a hazy version of the emblem on his shirt. Windows95Man emerges from a gigantic egg and rushes around sans trousers for two minutes before being reunited with a pair of jeans that fall from the ceiling. This is the performance that Finland puts on.

Windows95Man reveals to CNN that he came to the realization that he does not need to be normal while he was in his twenties. “I can’t control how the world sees my art.” What exactly is the message that this piece of artwork is trying to convey? According to Windows95Man, “If Dad is a little naked, it’s not that big of a deal.” This is a concise summary of the situation. Which is not even close to being a pessimistic observation to make.

Eurovision is in the center of Europe’s attention. Throughout the entire year, it is the only thing that they think about. Ask Marina Satti, a contender from Greece, if that is correct. “When I grew up I didn’t have a TV, so I lost count,” she explains to me. So, you may forget about it.

On the other hand, more than 150 million people enjoy watching it annually. There were around 129 people who participated in the San Marino national selection, which is equivalent to approximately one Eurovision hopeful for every 260 people living in the microstate.

Moreover, the contest is not only about the victors, but also about the adorable oddballs who participate in it. There was a lot of competition for the prestigious inaugural annual prize held by CNN for the worst Eurovision lyrics. We were required to take into consideration some breathtaking and overused photographs. Hera Bjork, who hails from Iceland, is said to be “on the verge of a promise,” Saba is said to “throw memories into the air,” and Slimane is aiming to “create an ocean to be consumed by fire.”

“The hurricanes wander, but you take the pain,” sings Fahree, an Azerbaijani who is dressed as if he has come directly from the future. However, he is not from a cool section of the future; rather, he is from a 23rd century Italian restaurant that has a poor grade for hygiene.

The Polish singer Luna sings, “Shining in the eyes of a tiger, only I can find my future,” in a pen that is a complete and utterly absurd piece of writing that did not assist her in reaching the final.

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